Smile Every Day

schmergo:

schmergo:

I want a movie about a guy who runs for president and wins but then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t want to be president, so he just starts doing ridiculous things all the time trying to get impeached, but it NEVER WORKS because they always miraculously end up being the right thing to do. Like, he declares war on Canada? Next day it turns out that Canada had secret plans to nuke Washington. he bans Doritos? Turns out theyr’e the number one cause of cancer and natural disasters. He sends his vice president to jail? Turns out the VP was a terrorist in disguise. He has 100% approval rating, most popular president ever.

I’ve decided that I want him to be played by Jeff Goldblum. 

(via autumn-br3eze)

8 years ago // 558,242 notes

laughing-llama:

slytherin-starkid-of-tardis:

phinflynn:

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“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

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“What an unexpected -“

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“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

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“You’re trapped!”

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“By societal convention!”

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“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

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“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

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This show is fucking brilliant.

did everyone else read that in his voice

(via autumn-br3eze)

8 years ago // 1,668,698 notes
alaskha:
“ popmist:
“ rekhless:
“ panier:
“ misschloejane:
“ attackoftheswag:
“ Marine pretending to cheat off a 4th graders math exam. - Phillippines
”
This is kind of adorable.
”
this deserves every single note and then more.
”
holy moly this is...
bookster-lover:
“a-dark-and-stormy-book-blog:
“yeezuschristgirl:
“like how can u not reblog
”
Isn’t it a little odd to think that they all grew up together? Like, when I introduce people to my best friend and we’re like, “Yeah, we’ve known each other...